i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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