so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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