this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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