I CAN MOONWALK!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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