I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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