That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
