i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
