Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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