I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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