No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
