Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
