my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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