ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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