Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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