Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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