I could make wine with my vomit
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
