i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found puke in my bra..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
