I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
