this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
