you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
there is glitter all over my balls
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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