wakey wakey hands off snakey
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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