your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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