so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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