I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
