He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
