Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
They have beer where we have blood.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
