I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
