Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
