what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
