I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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