She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
