Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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