It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
