I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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