You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
