Swine flu is the new snow day.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
