yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
