I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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