I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
