garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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