I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
