so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
