just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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