HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
