fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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