Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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