True but thats because hes a fetus.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You ruined the universe
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
