i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
