I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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