How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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